Jehovah's Witnesses

On the way home from school after the zoo I got in a fight with Harold Lund. He is a big grease who is friends with Marty Polaski. He ambushed me, which is dirty fighting, man, and jumped on me and pinned me with his knees on my shoulders till Shrubs smashed him in the head with a garbage can and we both ran home.
When I got home the first thing my mom said was "Don't open up your mouth," because my pants were green on the knees from the grass. (They were new, I got them at West's Clothing where they don't have doors on the little rooms and a girl saw my underpants.) "It's a crime," said my mother. "Who beat you up this time?"
"The Jehovah's Witnesses," I said
"What?"
I walked away. She chased me and grabbed my arm.
"Tell me the truth young man," she said.
So I told her. I got run over by a car which was drove by a Jehovah's Witness and he got out and said I wasn't a Jehovah's Witness but I said I was, only he didn't believe me and then we had to arm wrestle and I beat him because he was weak and then a negro came and said I could be a negro if I wanted so I said ok and then the Jehovah's witness got mad and pushed me on the grass and then I came home.
I walked up to my room. My mom yelled "You get back down here and tell me the truth." But I didn't.
(I don't know what a Jehovah's Witness is.I think it's when you wear a sports jacket.)

--- Taken from When I Was Five I Killed Myself by Harold Buten
(so charming!!)